Let her remove the adulterous look from her face
    and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts.

-Hosea 2:2b, NIV

Restored, godly marriages resurrected after the destruction of adultery are rare.

Cheaters would have to change character for this to happen. Such change is painful and hard. That is not the path most cheaters take.

Shortcuts are all about what cheaters do.

My exhortation to faithful spouses is NOT to accept an offered short cut from a cheater. If he or she is trying to get you to take them back or go into marital counseling before they commit to ending the affair and coming clean, please reject this “offer.”

The cheater is not serious about repairing the marriage in these instances. Seriousness is demonstrated by action.

A faithful spouse is being generous even to consider restoration after adultery. They are foolish if they do this without insisting on the cheating stopping first.

To be clear:

A reasonable and godly person will expect the cheating to stop before any movement is made towards marriage restoration.