Day and night I have only tears for food,
while my enemies continually taunt me, saying,
“Where is this God of yours?”-Psalm 42:3, NLT
Grief is weird.
This struck home for me yesterday. It was about a loss unrelated to my divorce. I was thinking about my grandmother.
She died twenty years ago to the date yesterday.
The weird thing about grief is that the tears can still be fresh twenty years later. What does it for me is remembering the good memories about her. That starts the waterworks, so to speak.
This occasion gave me opportunity to practice what I preach about grief. I was reminded that grief is good. It signals that we can attach and who we lost meant something to us. Grandma, certainly, meant A LOT to me!
She was a singer. That was the secret to her ever present joy and peace. I know as I asked her one day about it, and that was her answer to me.
One of the songs she taught us was a Mennonite hymn in German: “Gott ist die Liebe.” Roughly translated, the title means, “God is love.”
What a message to leave with your grandchildren–embodying love to them and telling them where that love comes from! “Gott ist die Liebe.” God is love.
I don’t know where you are in your healing journey. However, I want to encourage you if you feel bad about your tears. Maybe you are judging yourself for not “being over it, already?!”
Remember, that is not how grief works. It has its own timetable that does not follow logic but rather the heart.
Twenty years later, you may still have a sad day. That just means you lost something or someone valued to you, and that is a good thing.
24 years post discovery of her adultery I still feel grief about the loss of the dream I had for marriage. But in two days it will be the 20th anniversary of my second marriage, which has brought me much happiness and fulfillment. Grief is weird!