Carrying a log across your shoulders
while you’re hefting a boulder with your arms
Is nothing compared to the burden
of putting up with a fool.-Proverbs 27:3, MSG
You are in this situation because your Cheater stole from you what did not belong to them to give away.
Sadly, this does not stop Cheaters for demanding more. They think it is their place to tell us what we are allowed to say or do. Humility is not in the same galaxy as them.
It blows my mind how arrogant and entitled these people can be!
This is why “nicing” them out of it won’t work. They need the full strength medicine of consequences for their dastardly actions. That is the only thing that stands a chance of waking them up to their spiritual peril (see Hebrews 10:26-27).
In the meantime, it is hard to be the faithful spouse in these situations. You have to bear up under their continuous provocations and folly. It is not easy to keep your cool in such circumstances!
Just remember that these provocations are showing you who they really are:
An abusive fool.
Then use that information to help you power through to your divorce and settlement. Let them go their separate way to destruction without you along for the ride. They are not worth losing your cool for!