Are you not to judge those inside [the church]? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”
-I Corinthians 5:12b-13, NIV
Is enough ever enough to stop enabling cheaters in the church?
I am so thankful for God’s extravagant mercy and grace. It is what made the way for me to have a living relationship with Him.
But God is no chump (see Gal. 6:8)!
God is not forever forgiving in the sense that He forestalls consequences forever (see 2 Cor. 5:10). The Bible is clear that sometimes the sinner needs a tougher love than what currently is widespread in our Christian communities today.
Do we love cheaters enough to tell them God has a problem with their marital infidelity (when in an appropriate setting)?
Do we love them enough not to celebrate their brazen adultery?
Do we love God enough to follow His directions to take such harden sin seriously?
I am glad that I have heard of pastors and marriage counselors who refuse to play image management for cheaters.
It is refreshing to hear of people who are unwilling to enable cheaters and waste their time on individuals actively blowing up their marriages with no intentions to stop.
My hope is these stories one day will become the norm in the Christian community.
I believe this is what it expected of Christian leaders taking adultery seriously. They need to be willing to shut down the pastoral counseling until the cheater is willing to forsake his or her adulterous ways. That is proper soul care.
Finally, it is one thing to rely on God’s mercy and grace. And it is something quite different to presume upon God’s mercy and grace. We need to grasp this distinction as it applies to cheaters.
The Apostle Paul is quite clear in Romans 6:1-2 that presuming upon God’s mercy and grace is not the stance of a true Christian. Someone who has the Holy Spirit inside does not live this way.
As such, a wise pastor will challenge a cheater with this spiritual truth when faced with a cheater presuming upon God’s grace and mercy regarding their sins.
If we honestly seek God, we have nothing to fear from God as He is a good, loving parent.
However, if we seek God in order to use His name and presume upon His mercy, then we have much to fear. God won’t be mocked or blasphemed!
It is past time the church discovered this distinction and pastors learned to embody healthy limits with cheaters teaching them that “enough is enough!”
I have a question and need advice on this topic.
My now ex-wife cheated with a married professional Christian musician. She knew his wife and told me one thing that she got off on was knocking this guy off his pedestal.
I shared the affair details with my Dad who is a pastor, my own church pastor and a few of my siblings who are also “Christians”. None of them challenged her, and most of them pushed the shared responsibility shame game on me. I recently found out several of my siblings still keep in touch with her and even praise her for being such a storm single mom; pretending as though they have no clue why the marriage ended.
I’m so angry that none of these so-called Christians have never once felt the need to challenge or rebuke her. What’s most hurtful, my siblings don’t know I know they still interact with her and they pretend they are upset at her actions?
I’m so confused, this does not seem right and they all seem so fake and it’s outrageous.
Isaiah,
I’m so sorry that you have to deal with more betrayal on top of what she’s done. I hope you have another network of people in your life who are true friends & Christians. Please don’t let these people distort your image of God or the confidence you can have in
the Lord.
Praying for you!