But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
-Matthew 5:28, NIV
Too often, emotional affairs are treated by Christians and professionals as symptoms as opposed to sins.
Clearly, Jesus saw emotional affairs as sins. They were only symptomatic insofar as they are a symptom of the evil within the cheater’s heart. Jesus leaves no room for ambiguity when it comes to condemning such affairs–or lusts–of the heart.
Vowing to “forsake all others” includes forsaking all others as it pertains to romantic, emotional relationships.
Engaging in dating-like behavior with someone other than your spouse is certainly sinfully wrong. Those sort of energies were pledged to the spouse. If they are given to another, they are stolen from the faithful party.
And it is ludicrous to blame the victim of such a theft for being robbed!
This is a pet peeve of mine with pastors and counselors who attack faithful spouses as causing emotional affairs.
They blame marriage conditions–as a backhanded way of blaming the faithful spouse–for the affair instead of the sinner who cheated. It is so idiotic and destructive!
Here’s a radical thought:
How about strongly condemning the theft as the wrong it is? And how about holding the thief fully responsible for such a theft as opposed to her victim?
Honestly, one would think this would be common practice when dealing with emotional affairs among Christians. Yet I think it is usually the exception rather than the rule in dealing with them in Christian circles.
Hence, I write this blog.
No free passes for cheating here! And that includes emotional affairs!
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*A version of this post ran previously.
