“This is the way of an adulterous woman: She eats and wipes her mouth and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.'”

-Proverbs 30:20, NIV

While a cheater might blame their cheating on a lack of self-esteem, I find this excuse rather lame.

They “esteemed” themselves so much that they took or gave what did not belong to them to another. Cheaters often care less about the cost paid by the faithful spouse for their self-centered, sinful behavior.

In fact, the same cheater might claim this as their “excuse” while pointing out the “flaws” of their spouse. They may laugh when the faithful spouse suggests their need to deal with their own (cheater) issues with qualified help.

Confidence and self-esteem do not seem to be the real problem.

Arrogance and calloused indifference to the harm they are doing to others are much bigger spiritual problems for cheaters, in my opinion.

I think it is a waste of time to focus on building the cheater’s self-esteem. That time is better spent working on the cheater’s humility.

 

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*A version of this post ran previously.