31 To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. 32 Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
-John 8:31-32, NIV
One of the more enduring negative impacts from Cheaters and their allies are the lies they tell us about ourselves.
Some have added power because they come from a person in authority. This includes–sadly–clueless pastors trying to “save” the marriage via shaming the faithful spouse from taking biblical steps–i.e. divorcing (see Mt 19:9)–to protect themselves.
To find freedom from these lies, we have to become better at telling ourselves the truth.
We have to “unlearn” the lies by “teaching” ourselves the truth.
This can take the form of journaling out verses that counteract the lies. It may take the form of praying targeted prayers each night using key verses. Or it may be as simple as having a specific song on loop that reminds us of God’s truth about us.
When we have learned the truth in the deepest parts of our being about how loved we are (by God), that makes us a poor target for bad actors. We don’t tolerate it, anymore.
Also, we find that we are no longer bothered by what the cheater or their allies say. We know they are lies and symptomatic of spiritually unhealthy, deranged people. They are not true.
We only get to this point by strengthening the truth in our hearts, and I found using key verses in prayer* helps greatly in this process!
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*Anthony Hulsebus’ book on rejection (see side tab or blog resources) has a whole chapter with written out prayers using verses to address issues. It helped me tremendously in my own healing.
