If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.

-Deuteronomy 22:22, KJV

Sometimes we cling to other unhealthy relationships besides the relationship with our cheater.

I think about how I stuck with my first denomination longer than probably was good for me. Not everything was bad about that time. I have dear friends and family still in that denomination.

However, my experience was not one that was edifying and healing for me. I am glad I finally made the leap into a more healthy denominational home.

This is true about “friendships,” too.

How many of us stuck with “friends” longer than was good for us?

Did you ever think your “friend” would “get it” once they had the truth?

Only, they didn’t. That stings.

The thing about adultery is that it impacts the whole community. This is what Deuteronomy 22:22 illustrates. The evil touches the whole nation of Israel.

Sadly, some people choose evil over godliness. This includes “friends.” They prefer to treat both parties as equally to blame.

How do we move on from such “friends?”

I think we need to remember that sometimes people will choose poorly. We need to honor those choices as we need to honor human free agency.

Honoring these choices–a “friend” choosing to believe in shared blame-means facing the reality that this person chose a lie over your friendship. Then we need to let that relationship go.

We then grieve. 

It is truly hard to let go of relationships because the other person refuses to treat you like a friend. However, we still have to let them go for our own well-being.

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*A version of this post ran previously.