Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water.
-Hebrews 10:22, KJV
“Evil conscience” is translated “guilty” conscience in other translations of this verse.
It speaks about a false sense of guilt. The conscience is evil in how it is a vehicle of the Evil One condemning us for things already covered by Jesus’ blood.
In other words, the “evil conscience” is attacking us pushing false guilt over things we ought not to feel guilty.
In my experience, faithful spouses struggle with “evil conscience” problems frequently.
We improperly take on guilt burdens. These are burdens that do not belong to us.
For me, this problem manifests in my downright reflexive “I’m sorry” response to accusation or potential accusation.
I think I did and do this to avoid conflict. It has always been a struggle of mine to maintain my own space and boundaries accepting that sometimes disagreement is inevitable.
To disagree is not the same as to sin.
So, to my fellow faithful spouses who struggle with this, I have a few words of encouragement with which to close:
It is okay to hold space. You do not have to apologize for having feelings or thoughts that are your own.
It is okay to say, “No.” Just because someone is upset with you denying their request does not mean you were wrong to say, “No.”
It is okay to NOT be sorry. You do not have to apologize for divorcing or being divorced from a cheater. God understands, and that is why He provided the mercy of divorce for you.
It is okay to reject the cheater’s false narrative. You do not need to apologize for having your own story and your own perspective on what happened. Anyone who denies that is a controlling person best kept at arms length or–better yet–further away.
