When someone feels unlovable, I believe emotional affairs hold an especial allure.
The temptation is to fill a legitimate need through sinfully illegitimate ways. A cheater takes their need to feel lovable and turns to the world to make them feel worthy of romantic pursuit.
This might manifest through evenings at bars where she welcomes male advances. It might mean welcoming the pursuit of men at work. Perhaps, she lives her life as a flirt to garner this attention.
The sexual and romantic attention of others is the drug of choice for this person.
Now, this does not mean it stops at mere “attention.” Adults are wired to progress in these areas to physical sex. But it likely does not start there for these sort of cheaters.
Honestly, this is hurtful to the faithful spouse on multiple levels:
1. The cheater is rejecting the faithful spouse’s verdict that they are worthy of their love.
2. The cheater rejects and devalues the faithful spouse’s love and attention.
3. The cheater violates the sacred oneness of the marriage relationship.
Ultimately, this hole in the heart can only be fixed by God. A faithful spouse can never perform well enough to fix this. It is a problem only God can solve.
Sadly, marriages end without this problem ever rectified. Faithful spouses become wreckage in cheater stubborn refusal to face their demons and look to God for healing.
