“I gave your master’s house to you, and your master’s wives into your arms. I gave you all Israel and Judah. And if all this had been too little, I would have given you even more.”
-2 Samuel 12:8, NIV
What do we make of God saying that He would have given King David more wives?
Does this mean God condones cheating or having more than one sexual partner? Is this verse applicable to modern times? How do we make sense of this coming from God?
I will begin by pointing out that polygamy is not the same as marital infidelity.
Sex is still restricted to marriage–whether in the New Testament or the Old Testament. Extramarital infidelity is still NOT sanctioned here.
So, a cheater is still on the hook. He or she is having sexual relationships outside of the marriage covenant. This verse does not condone that and cannot be properly used to justify it.
The cheater freely agreed to livelong, monogamy when he or she married.
This is important. They do not get to change the rules midway through the marriage. God still requires us to keep our covenant promises.
What about polygamy today? Does God have an ideal regarding marriage for Christians?
The model for Christian marriage is Jesus and the Church (see Ephesians 5). This is a monogamous picture.
But many people are in the Church! True. However, while the Church is made up of many people, it is treated as one entity or person in this analogy. The Bible does not talk about Jesus marrying more than one entity.
Plus, the Apostle Paul doubles down on this understanding when laying out the qualifications for a leader in the church. He writes:
Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife….
-1 Timothy 3:2a, NIV, emphasis mine
While God allowed polygamy in the Old Testament, this is clearly not allowed in the New Testament or today for people following His ways closely.
Even assuming polygamy is legal (a big, false assumption in most developed countries according to my layman understanding), God’s people are not to engage in this custom today.
Using this verse from I Samuel 12 to “justify” cheating is a very sick, twisted way to use the Bible. It simply does not work.
The cheater is still breaking his promises, having extramarital sex, and violating God’s monogamous ideal for marriage. I Samuel 12:8 does not excuse such sinful behavior.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
