“Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—as her great love has shown. But whoever has been forgiven little loves little.”
-Luke 7:47, NIV
Did anyone here have a cheater (or cheater defender) who was dismissive of your offer–as the victim of the adultery–to forgive?
This verse attributed to Jesus comes to mind for those situations. I want to be clear what I think is being meant in this verse.
It is not so much that we–or God–is forgiving little. The problem is in the person being forgiven:
They don’t think they were forgiven all that much.
So they love little.
A cheater sensitized to the horrific damage they did to their spouse would never be dismissive of such an offer. They would not immediately think about how that forgiveness is “leverage.” Such a cheater would be grateful and love much.
Sadly, most cheaters never get it.
So, they act dismissive of their need for forgiveness. The adultery is no big deal because to them the cost wasn’t so big a deal. It is not a big debt in their eyes. After all, their victims–namely, the faithful party–paid the biggest price for their sin.
Funny how I have not read many pastors talk about how cheaters ought to love much when a faithful spouse forgives their cheater as a huge debt is being cancelled.
Most of the fire is directed at the faithful spouse to “forgive.” Little if any ink is spilled on the response of the cheater who ought to respond in a way indicative of someone whose crushing debt has just been erased by their spouse. Sad that is the case.
A truly biblical teaching on forgiveness would include all of this–both the faithful spouse’s forgiveness and a godly response to that forgiveness by the pardoned cheater.
Excellent point.