The lips of the wise give good advice;
the heart of a fool has none to give.-Proverbs 15:7, NLT
When I was desperate to stop my first marriage from ending, I made the mistake of opening myself up to too many people. It was messy.
I think part of this mistake was born of being in my twenties at the time. My heart was still seeking affirmation and support from outside. I wanted someone to “fix” my marriage and stop my cheater from leaving.
That did not happen, and I opened myself up to some painful exchanges with “counselors” of various stripes.
My recommendation is to limit yourself to a couple of trusted people to share the vast details of your imploding marriage.
That said, feel free to share your story when you need to do so. This is not about being silenced. It is not your shame to bear.
The idea of limiting ourselves to a few safe people–or a safe forum–is to ensure we get the support we need. Also, it is important to remember that outsiders aren’t going to “fix” this. We have to make the hard choices–i.e. “Buffet of Bad Options“–and then live by their consequences.
We all make mistakes in sharing. This is a messy process. So, please cut yourself some slack when you’ve overshared with someone who is unsafe. It happens to all of us. It is part of learning, growing, and healing.
