Not Blaming:
Who does it benefit?
I would argue refusing to assign blame in a situation with marital infidelity “benefits” the cheater.
They get to be treated as if what happened was either a shared problem or an unfortunate event (both lies, by the way). In other words, they get to avoid taking responsibility for their sinful actions.
In the long run, refusing to blame does not benefit cheaters spiritually. God is clear that they will have to answer for their actions one day (see 2 Corinthians 5:10).
Not assigning blame is unjust.
It leaves victims of adultery in an awful place. They are cut off from support they need. The message given to them is to be silent about the injustices they have suffered at the hands of their adulterous abuser.
This is not godly.
Denial of reality is wrong. When sin happens, a sinner is involved. It is a moral fact that the origin of sin is the sinner (see Mark 7:21-23).
It is important that we see that and not apply the same treatment to the victim of said sinner.
Yes, it is uncomfortable assigning blame and acknowledging the moral reality that someone did another person wrong. However, that is the right thing to do.
