Part of my blindness in my first marriage was thinking we were rock solid as a couple.
Maybe you can relate?
I naively believed that cheating and divorce was something that only happened to other people. It certainly wouldn’t happen to me and my marriage.
That sort of thinking is what made the whole experience so surreal.
This blindness led me to ignore signs warning me about the relationship heading the wrong direction. It led me to underestimate the damage done by the inappropriate–minimally emotional–relationships she had with other men prior to the confirmed adulterous relationship.
Not to Monday-Morning Quarterback this, but I am a strong proponent of taking emotional affairs seriously. If you are truly “rock solid,” emotional affairs do not happen. Period.
I knew we weren’t rock solid as a couple, but I gaslit myself into thinking that he couldn’t possibly be cheating because he’s a Christian, and one seeking to become a pastor at that! Rookie mistake.
Good to read your stuff again! Keep up the good work!