So he made a whip out of cords, and drove all from the temple courts, both sheep and cattle; he scattered the coins of the money changers and overturned their tables… His disciples remembered that it is written: “Zeal for your house will consume me.”
John 2:15, 17, NIV
If your pastor considers you in sin simply because you are angry…
…FIND ANOTHER PASTOR!
If Jesus could get angry enough to braid a whip and drive out wicked money changers, then I challenge any interpretation that treats ALL anger as sinful. Jesus did not sin…ever.
I get that some try to say this was allowed because Jesus is God but we cannot become angry because we are not God.
Here’s the thing. We are to reflect God’s heart and be impacted like God is. Clearly, God gets angry over some things like sin.
Adultery and lies are sins.
A good pastor who understands God’s heart on these matters ought to encourage as opposed to discourage anger in the adultery victim. It is a godly emotional response to such wickedness.
To treat this righteous anger as sinful is to act contrary to how God sees it, IMO.
If your pastor is guiding or counseling you away from a godly path, it is wise to depart from that pastor. Faithful spouses need pastors who understand the anger as correct and godly response to the injustices experienced.
That does not mean the faithful spouse gets a free pass to sin in anger! (see Ephesians 4:26)
Instead, the anger ought to be channeled as energy for productive ends:
-This might mean filing for a divorce as opposed to remaining in an abusive marriage with an unrepentant cheater.
-This might mean using the anger to refuse to accept blame–EVER!–for the sin committed by the adulterous spouse against the faithful spouse.
-This might mean using the energy to be active and care for the faithful spouse’s physical well-being.
-This might mean…
There are many channels for the anger to be used productively. But shutting it down and shaming the faithful spouse for having such anger is not one of them.
