As for you, you smear me with lies.
As physicians, you are worthless quacks.

-Job 13:4, NLT

The “friend” who tells you to ignore the cheating is not giving good advice. They also fail to understand how traumatic the experience is.

I wonder if such people are embarrassed by being duped by the Cheater. That awkward feeling is avoided by not talking about the duping. So, they exhort you to focus on yourself…on your alleged sins.

This is not a person to consult.

They have shown their hand as someone who is more invested in the cheater (or themselves) than your well-being.

Talking about it is a necessary part of dealing with it and healing from it. A person who has been through such an experience or who has even a small amount of understanding gets this.

Not talking about it does not make it go away or address the abuse.

It just sends a message that the faithful spouse should feel shame or accept blame that is truly the cheater’s to bear. That is a lie.