Where are all the personal responsibility preachers when it comes to talking to cheaters?!
-Much is made of the faithful spouse taking personal responsibility for “their part” in the divorce.
-Much is made of the faithful spouse taking personal responsibility to forgive their cheater. (In fact, they feel compelled to “speak into” the faithful spouse’s life because they “love” them too much, not to.)
-Much is made of the faithful spouse “learning” from their marriage’s demise.
However, I notice the same Christians who speak so loudly about the faithful spouse’s personal responsibility are oddly quiet on these matters with the cheater.
-They accept the cheater’s excuses as opposed to telling them to stop making excuses for their behavior.
-They seem to behave as if cheaters are immune to bitterness from unforgiveness–i.e. the apparent “plague” limited to faithful spouses (please note this is sarcasm).
-The fear of “speaking into” the cheater’s life magically appears. They feign not knowing the cheater well-enough to call them out, yet they feel entitled to “speak into” the faithful spouse’s life.
This is just backwards madness at work. The party needing the personal responsibility lectures the most are not receiving them. Instead, their victims are!
And if you think I am exaggerating, I would suggest many who read these words have experienced many of these scenarios first hand. This backwards world is all too common.
Here’s a good rule of thumb:
If you are unwilling to lecture the cheater about their personal responsibility, then do not dare lecture their victim–namely, the faithful spouse–on such matters.
Better yet, leave the work of the Holy Spirit to the Holy Spirit 😉
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