One of the most humiliating aspects of dealing with a cheater is this need to know.
If a cheater is unwilling to submit to STD tests, then you have your answer as to how repentant they are–i.e. not at all. It is rather low hanging fruit–so to speak–for a cheater to provide scientifically verified assurance that the health of the faithful spouse is not in danger because of their cheating.
Plus, if your pastor or counselor is not aware of this danger–of contracting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from the cheater–then they are not really qualified to help you. Their naivete–or willful blindness–is a serious liability for the faithful partner.
Public Service Announcement:
Get STD tested!
I care too much for my readers to NOT tell you this. Yes, it stinks to have to do this. However, a prudent faithful spouse will do this. It is worth knowing either way.
So, find a good, qualified medical provider and get it done for yourself (even if the cheater will not). It is too important NOT to do!
