Adultery is soul rape.

It is incredibly traumatizing.

Imagine trying to figure out whether or not your life is about to end due to your spouse picking up a deadly sexually transmitted disease and passing it along to you (without your knowledge)–by the way, please get tested, faithful spouse, if you have not already!

How about all those hours wondering when all the cheating started?

Was it all a lie? Did she cheat from the start of the marriage or was this last man the “only” adultery partner?

The ONE person we ought to be able to trust with our lives just played fast and loose with them. This person betrayed us in a way no other person could because no one else is one with us like our spouse.

It messes with our ability to see the future and think through how we will survive it.

The person we relied upon to help us face financial and health challenges just blew up all security–however little–we once had.

And all of this is not mentioning any smear campaign waged by the cheater to make us look bad to people who might otherwise support us against his or her abuse.

Nor does it take into account the abuse of cheaters gas-lighting us telling us we are imagining things–like their infidelity–while knowing full well that we are right. They were and ARE cheating!

Nor does it take into account the belittling and fault-finding the cheater engages in during the discharge phase of their wicked betrayal. They might even have pastors and “Christian” counselors agreeing with their fault-finding activity while ignoring their blatant, abusive infidelity. It takes real, hard work to unplug those destructive, lying “voices” from our heads afterwards.

Adultery is incredibly traumatic for faithful spouses.

Outsiders need to understand this basic fact, or they will be incapable of providing competent care.

 

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*A version of this post ran previously.