“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.”
-Job 31:1, NLT
An adage among fidelity website(s) is how if a spouse suggests living in an “open marriage” that you already are in one.
This same wisdom applies–in my opinion–to situations where a cheater suggests the faithful spouse welcomes romantic interest from outsiders. They themselves have already been doing that and possibly more!
A couple of weeks ago, I remember hearing an example of this on the radio:
The husband and wife were taking trips on their own apart from each other.
In the call in to the radio station, the wife was wondering whether or not to take up her husband’s offer for her to have a romantic fling–without telling him the details–on her next trip away from him.
She does go on the trip and has the fling. Calling back afterwards, she reveals that her husband had already cheated on her on one of his own trips. Hence, he made the “offer” to soothe his guilty conscience.
The encouragement to receive romantic interest from outsiders is a way to normalize behavior that ought not be normalized in a godly marriage.
It is playing with fire!
The person doing this might avoid getting burned–i.e. falling into sexual sin–occasionally but play long enough and getting burned is likely.
It is like being an alcoholic and frequently a wine-tasting bar just “to smell” the wine. This likely will not end well.
Such suggestions–i.e. to welcome external sexual attention–from one’s spouse is indicative of a heart that has likely already strayed away from keeping the marriage covenant–in mind, if not already in body!
