I remember vividly driving down one specific stretch of I-35 years ago in complete protest to what was happening. The feelings were surreal!
Divorce wasn’t something that was to happen to me! I could not believe this was happening. And I SOOOO wanted the pain of it all to end. It hurt so bad.
I wanted to snap back to a moment when my marriage was fine. But I knew that was never going to happen.
Maybe you can relate?
This is the task of grief called “Protest.” We know what is real but are protesting against that reality. It involves the shock of the losses all at once. I think I revisited this task many times in those months leading up to and a little after the divorce was finalized.
That is normal. Grief does not follow a rigid timeline. It comes and goes at it wills.
Having these feelings does not mean that you are in “denial.” You may very know–as I did–that it is over. Rather you are dealing with the pain and grief of it all.
It means you are human, and your marriage mattered to you. That is why it hurts so much to lose it. And that is a good thing. Your marriage ought to have matter to you. That is a sign of health and strength.
