Pastors, Please stop making divorce “jokes.”
When faithful spouses hear pastors talking about how grateful they are that their wives haven’t left them, the pastor could not be more insensitive and tone deaf to those who have experienced abandonment.
Such “joking” is teaching:
-You are teaching your people divorce happens over everyday irritations in marriage.
Do you really want people divorcing over that?
-You are teaching your people that the abandoned spouse must have deserved it.
Imagine hearing this if you were cheated on, discarded, and loss your job over your (ex) spouse’s sins.
“I’m so glad she has put up with me. It’s a miracle she hasn’t divorced me already. I know I’m a difficult person to live with. Thanks, Honey!” – Pastor
This might not be as awful if pastors were more explicit in seeing and acknowledging adultery victims.
If they taught regularly and clearly about how adultery and abandonment are acceptable grounds to divorce without shame for the faithful, Christian spouse, then the sting would be lessened.
However, such teaching is rarely done.
So, the safer thing to do is just avoid such “jokes.” They aren’t funny. Failure to do so teaches a false theology of divorce and is incredibly insensitive to faithful spouses in your midst.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
