Public Service Announcement:
When divorce is NEVER acceptable, then every sort of evil behavior in the marriage IS acceptable!
This is what taking a hard stance against all divorce entails. Requiring faithful spouses to remain married after adulterous activity is enabling abusive, sinful behavior. It is toleration of adultery.
God gives us permission to divorce unfaithful spouses because, I believe, God is intolerant of such sinfully destructive behavior and is merciful to faithful spouses (see Deuteronomy 22:22, Mt 19:9).
Yes, no healthy individual wakes up on their wedding day dreaming of being divorced as a life goal. However, like open heart surgery, sometimes that experience is precisely what is needed to save the individual even though it is definitely traumatic and not how things “ought” to be.
The most painful and destructive part of divorcing after 31 years was those words that were spoken to me by multiple Christian pastors, leaders, friends, family. Putting the blame of divorce on me was wrong on every level. My xh’s parents were ministers whom I dearly loved and looked up to, they were the first to state the utter lie and I also told me I needed to forgive, not be angry, pray for their son. WOW after I finally filed for divorce, they never spoke to me again. On top of all the pain we suffer, then the world around us promotes this abuse. No Shared Responsibility either!!!
Thank you DM for preaching this loud and clear.