Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.

-Hebrews 13:4, NLT

Have you ever heard the metaphor or analogy that having sex outside of marriage is like chewing gum then offering that used gum to your (future) spouse?

Your sexuality is the “used gum.”

The whole point of the metaphor is to scare Christian kids into guarding their virginity. It trades on our natural revulsion of chewing used gum. Who would want to do that?

An unintended consequence of this metaphor is condemning faithful spouses.

Are we “used gum” then, too?

I don’t think we are. Personally, I think our stock trades high. Why? We have survived something most people never endure and kept our integrity intact–i.e. we didn’t cheat.

Yet, I am troubled about a purity culture teaching that uses such shaming methods.

I don’t think that is how God sees people, ever.

He values us. Sin, even sexual sin, does not diminish our value to God. So, His people ought not to teach otherwise!

This is doubly true as it comes to faithful spouses divorced from cheaters. We are not “less valuable” simply because we were previously married and sexually active in said marriage.