Question: Do you believe cheating is abuse?

Anything less than an unequivocal “Yes” is a sign that this professional will attempt to blame you for the cheating. They will engage in some version of “The Shared Responsibility Lie“–namely, you are partially or fully to blame for the cheating.

It is a simple test: one question.

The response will tell you a lot about how they will approach your situation without you having to waste more energy or other resources on them. A positive response will tell you that they take the cheating seriously.

Now, they could still have issues later in the counseling. It depends, too, whether they blame victims–or even believe victims exist–in abuse situations. You can move on later if this shows up.

Some pastors and counselors DO get it!

That said, it is critical to find someone who shares appropriate, godly assumptions on cheating. I hope this post helps you in that quest.