One of the many difficulties of dealing with a cheater is how they induce panic and anxiety in us.
I can remember feeling such panic and anxiety during each interaction with my cheater. Maybe it is just me?! But I doubt it.
This fear and panic comes from all the nasty surprises one gets in the whole ordeal. You never know when another one will drop. It is very unnerving.
I share this as way to explain to outsiders why a faithful spouse might seem “on edge.” This is normal in these circumstances. Their well-being, on many levels, is under assault.
It is normal to have anxiety when you know there is a threat. The problem with cheaters is how that threat is coming out at faithful spouses from the darkness. We don’t know when we will be “hit” again with some blindsiding “news.”
That is the nature of this beast.
That said, I want to tell those new ones here that it DOES GET BETTER! I am years removed and do not have these sort of anxieties anymore. (It helps that my cheater is no longer in my life.)
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*A version of this post ran previously.
My cheating STBXH is supposed to be here in a minute to collect some things and I have felt fear that was becoming sheer dread, even though my adult son will deal with him! I’m hiding in my bedroom like a scared child but it’s the nearest to No Contact I can be at the moment!I believe it’s because of the demonic influence he’s under and the demons that have attached themselves to him through his grave, ongoing unrepented sinfulness are causing it! What I’ve done to soothe myself is to PRAY! Really pray from the heart, so that’s what I recommend. Whether you pray like me with a mix of Catholic formal prayers and prayers in my own words or however, please pray and trust God, because He did not give us a spirit of fear but of power and of love! Love God and He will ensure you feel His Love for you!
P.S. I’m getting a lot of electrical and internet problems these last few days, things going on that’ve never happened before for no apparent reason and I suspect that the demons that were using my STBXH to attack me and try to weaken and sever my relationship with Christ are now trying to get at me another way! It’s a nuisance rather than scary and debilitating though so I know I’ve done the right thing making him leave, asking for a divorce and annullment and also, handing him over to God by praying for his ultimate Salvation. Thank you Divorce Minister for this blog, the first one I’ve found that really talks about the demonic aspect of adultery! God bless and keep you!