These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are dead.

-I Timothy 4:2, NLT

Too many Christian leaders assume cheaters have functioning consciences. But what if religious cheaters are like the false teachers the Apostle Paul excoriates here in I Timothy 4:2?

You cannot awaken something that is dead.

Personally, I lean towards believing most unrepentant, cheating spouses who cling to a semblance of “Christianity” are in this category. They have to have dead consciences, or they could not continue to refuse to repent for soul raping their spouse.

This is also why so much “Christian” counselor–pastoral and otherwise–fails. They do not believe such people exist.

These “Christian” leaders live in a world where they believe people with dead consciences are not a real category. Certainly, they fail to read the signs as it comes to unrepentant cheaters.

Understanding these sort of people exist suggests a different pastoral care track. It suggests the pastor ought to focus on the ones who still have a functioning conscience–namely, faithful spouses.

Faithful spouses are ones deserving of compassionate care and reminders that the ones with dead consciences are speaking deadly lies.

My book, Cheated On: The Divorce Minister Guide for Surviving Infidelity and Keeping Your Faith, is now available in both eBook and paperback format (click image below):

By purchasing this book, you are putting the world on notice that faithful spouses deserve better and more competent pastoral care! Thank you.