These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
-James 1:15, NLT
Responding to cheating by cheating is wrong.
Now, I understand the impulse. It feels like justice. However, it is definitely NOT justice!
Revenge cheating is sin.
Please, don’t do it.
I know some cheaters think the faithful spouse could never find someone for this. They are THAT arrogant and contemptuous. Let them be a fool. Don’t lower yourself to their dung pit level.
The thing about cheating is how it destroys both the marriage and the cheater. They have to live with the fact that they betrayed the closest person in their lives–namely their spouse–and made themselves liars by breaking their marriage vows.
I don’t want to be in that camp. That’s me.
Now, some cheaters deaden their conscience. Others deny reality of what they did. Some even lie to themselves about God approving their adultery. None of these are ultimately healthy in a spiritual sense.
I thought of being with other people on several occasions after my wife cheated. It wasn’t so much in a lustful sense and an actual desiring of those other people. I would describe it as a mental exercise. I never took active steps to make any of those potential relationships a reality even though there were opportunities. But, I can’t excuse that behavior and not call it sin just as Jesus does. I have discovered that I’m not that guy when it comes to having a full blown affair. The thought is frightening on a level inhabited by my worst nightmares.