Shards of Memory
When you go through a divorce, people do not usually warn you about how the effects echo for many years unless they are trying to scare you away from divorce.
The echo of grief is normal.
It just means you genuinely loved the person who so treacherously betrayed you. That love is imprinted on memories that will come up from time to time.
Like grief does, it might surprise you. A location might trigger a pleasant memory from the now-defunct marriage. You are not defective to feel sad about that.
The end of your marriage was a real loss. When you spouse squandered you love and trust, this was a real loss.
That does not make you a lesser person than the Christian who never experienced divorce.
The wise Christian who never experienced divorce responds to that with gratitude, not smugness.
If you are experiencing the pain that comes from a shard of memory, I want to encourage you that this is completely normal.
So true. One of my wedding songs popped up on my Pandora this week. Three years ago when it happened at work, I listened and went to restroom to have a good cry. When it happened this week at work, I turned it up zoned out, experienced the moment, said to myself what an idiot(referring to all that he chose to give up) and went about my day like normal.
Time…the wound is still there, but how such memories affect me now has changed.