She would never…
…she would, and she did.
Cheating was just not on the radar during my first marriage until it was. I just did not think my (now) ex would ever cheat on me. It was unthinkable initially.
That is probably what made it easy for her to do so. I was blind to it for so long.
I do not think I am alone in this phenomenon among faithful spouses. We projected our own values on our Cheater. In our mind, cheating was NEVER an option, and so, we assumed they held that same stance as well.
But, boy, we were wrong!
It is not that we aren’t all capable of cheating. We are. The difference is in what we do with the temptation to cheat:
Do we feed the temptation to cheat or shut it down?
Cheaters feed the temptation and end up in full blown sin (see James 1). Their pride and sense of entitlement leads them into this awful and destructive sin.
I’ve had many opportunities to cheat, and I couldn’t even imagine taking the steps necessary to turn those opportunities into realities. It’s just not in wheelhouse. I couldn’t live with the guilt. If I had cheated, I wouldn’t have been able to hide it. I also couldn’t imagine visiting that much pain on someone I supposedly loved. The thought of wrecking my family for a few moments of illicit pleasure is the stuff of the most frightening nightmare imaginable.