Smug, married Christians act intolerably towards faithful spouses hemorrhaging from soul rape.
These are “know it all” Christians who think all that proceeds from their mouths is gold. They are the “wise” ones in their eyes.
The reality is what proceeds from their mouths would be better used to fertilize the fields.
These smug people think and talk as if the faithful spouse had power to prevent their own victimization. They proclaim “The Shared Responsibility Lie” with lines about how the faithful spouse must own “their part.”
Knowing full well that the cheater committed adultery, they will still drop nuggets of “wisdom” like “It takes two to tango” and “There’s always two sides to a story.”
With friends like that, who needs enemies?!
They would make Job friends proud in how they emulated their totally erroneous, ungodly advice. In fact, they even couch such advice in religious language like Job’s compatriots.
It is time to find a new group of “friends,” if this is what you experience in response to this especially humiliating and excruciating trauma.
Ignorance can be educated. You can work with this group. They are not willfully so.
Now, the arrogantly ignorant who sit smugly in a one-up position towards you are beyond hope of educating. They are best avoided until God chooses–if He ever does–to break them of their sinful pride.
I sat for about two months listening to my now ex-pastor (the thrice liar to me) lecture me on how I could be a better wife. He was pretty full of himself. I now realize my very first impression of him was right –“He sure talks a lot about himself and only himself”. I sat there for hours (truly hours, sometimes three to four hour counseling sessions) repeating how he or his wife would put toothpaste on each other toothbrushes as “acts of kindness” and tons of other ways he was such a great husband and she was such a great wife! Yeah, that’s all fine and dandy when you are not dealing with a person who has a character disorder. Someone who lied constantly to me for 24 years. Cheated emotionally and physically. Me putting toothpaste on his toothbrush wasn’t going to get him to see the light and stop lying and cheating! I felt like I was going crazy listening to this nonsense and pretty much being told I wasn’t doing enough for my ex and that’s why he lies and cheats!
Not for lack of trying, but I could have been the most perfect wife and mother. Looked like a model. Perfect sexual partner. AND HE STILL WOULD HAVE LIED AND CHEATED! I got rid of all the Job friends and Switzerland friends and family.