Tell me how your marriage fell apart is NOT a biblical diagnostic prompt.

This sort of prompt is what it looks like to bow to secular psychology and ignore biblical diagnosis of terminal marital sin. Now, this prompt might lead to a story involving terminal marital sin.

AND it might lead to a long story where blame is shifted upon the victim of terminal marital sin.

What do I mean by “terminal marital sin?”

I mean the sort of sin God suggests is marriage ending.

-This includes all forms of sexual immorality like adultery and pornography addictions (see Matthew 19:9).

-This would include a cheater abandoning a Christian spouse defying the marriage covenant (see I Corinthians 7:15). In this category, I–personally–would add abuse as that is indicative of someone who is unwilling to live in peace with a spouse and is behaving as an unbeliever.

-One could even add situations where annulment is appropriate as in fraudulent cases as was true in the situations seen with the Patriarchs (see post here).

Direct questions about the presence of these sort of sins are what a truly biblical pastor and counselor probes.

They do not engage in far ranging fishing expeditions about “communication issues” as if that is what the Bible tells us ends marriages in God’s eyes. 

Now, I DO believe exploring and developing communication skills are valuable. I am all for learning about one’s Family of Origin (FOO) issues.

However, such explorations during the truly Christian post-mortem of a marriage are out of place.

They simply serve as smokes-screens and ways a cheater uses the counselor or pastor to “legitimize” the brutalization of their (now) former spouse.

Such probing is suggestive that answers found there could justify the cheater in engaging in terminal marital sins. That is a lie.

I do not want to be part of furthering a lie, do you?