“This is the way of an adulterous woman:
She eats and wipes her mouth
and says, ‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’”-Proverbs 30:20, NIV
This proverb is true for all genders as it comes to cheating. Cheaters have no shame.
I was thinking about the phenomenon of Cheaters not connecting the dots as it comes to their sins and the impact on their families. It is as if they do not see how destructive THEIR behavior is.
They actually might not see how destructive their sins are!
Cheaters often cultivate a double life. This life is cut off from their family life out of necessity to keep it going. So, they seem to think their family life won’t be impacted by this double life. In other words, they only see these two lives as separate.
Problems in their marriage or family life are seen as separate entities than their affair life.
They are THAT self-deceived. Some may even call them delusional to behave and think as if they did no wrong. The wrong is obvious:
You violated the most sacred of human vows, your marriage vows!
But Cheaters do not see it that way. They have another double life to medicate whatever pain they have or otherwise indulge themselves in a way they genuinely think they are entitled to, sadly.
They are given over to lies and a false reality. It is best to leave them there and get a divorce (see Mt. 19:9) as they are numb to the truth and unwilling to repent.
I like, “numb to the truth”. It is like arguing with a drunk. Their brain is pickled by alcohol and only after months of sobriety can they reasonably think and use judgement.
I agree with the brain “pickled”. In my ex’s case talking to him was like beating my head against the wall and wondering why I had a headache. In my ex’s case he didn’t drink, he took great pride in that. I think he convinced himself that as long as he didn’t drink like his dad (an alcoholic) he was a good guy. His brain was instead pickled with the highs of illicit sex and gambling.
Fortunately for me I escaped. Pretty much in the nick of time.