“What Is Spiritual Abuse?
Any attempt to exert power and control over someone using religion, faith, or beliefs can be spiritual abuse.”
7 “The words of a priest’s lips should preserve knowledge of God, and people should go to him for instruction, for the priest is the messenger of the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 8 But you priests have left God’s paths. Your instructions have caused many to stumble into sin. You have corrupted the covenant I made with the Levites,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.”
-Malachi 2:7-8, NLT
When religion is layered into the infidelity and abandonment story, the experience is especially damaging.
Our faiths ought to be sources of support. When dealing with a Cheater, we deeply need that support. I know I did.
That is why it is so nefarious for our faith to be weaponized against us during this critical time. It is evil, in my opinion.
Religion can be used to keep us stuck in abusive situations. After all, if divorce is always not permitted, then everything else in marriage IS!
If that is not bad enough, we often experience this abuse by third parties who think they are doing “God’s work” in “saving the marriage.” They act as if they are coming from a morally superior place while sinning against us by their ungodly counsel. It is sick and wrong. These are people we need to kick out of our lives as much as possible as they are adding to the trauma and NOT the healing.
What about those who so concerned about our forgiveness of our Cheater?
Did you ever notice how these people are never–in my experience–in the least bit interested in exploring whether the Cheater is repentant? They could care less whether the Cheater is still sinning against the faithful spouse. They “have a verse” and are REALLY concerned that you don’t get “bitter.”
My response to such people is to ask them if they believe the Cheater acknowledges her sin debt to me that am I supposed to forgive? No. Then Jesus tells me NOT to forgive. I have a verse, too:
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and IF they repent, forgive them.”
-Luke 17:3b, NIV (Emphasis Added)
I have a whole page where I deal with all sort of spiritually abusive practices where specific texts are weaponized against faithful spouses (click here and here). It is so sadly common.
