If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

-I John 1:9, NIV

Instead of confessing, many of our Cheaters will continue to blame us for our marriages’ demise until they die. They do not see their infidelity as relevant to the divorce.

This is something that many Christian leaders fail to grasp–namely, forgiveness is unavailable to those who refuse to confess.

If they really wanted forgiveness to happen, they would focus their “fire” upon Cheaters and their refusal to accept responsibility for their sins. They would work towards getting them to confess their sins.

This is unpleasant and difficult work to do. Who wants to be known as the rebuking pastor?! That is essentially what this work is–i.e. rebuking Cheaters.*

Yet this is what is needed for true, biblical forgiveness to occur. Without confession, Cheaters are ineligible to receive God’s forgiveness as I read I John 1:9.

As long as Cheaters are stuck blaming their (faithful) partner, they are NOT confessing and thereby risk judgment for unforgiven sin.

 

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*Even if the context isn’t right for rebuking the Cheater (as in the relationship isn’t there for it), the godly pastor can refuse to participate in the Cheater’s blame-game towards the faithful spouse. Shaming the faithful spouse around “forgiveness” is especially heinous when you have a situation with the Cheater refusing to repent and confess.