Stop reading the tea leaves!
I was guilty of this. Every small signal of kindness or basic civility I took to mean that my marriage might survive.
It was a lie, though. I was deceiving myself.
This is where having good friends is key. These friends can speak the hard but necessary truth about your marriage. They can help you face the reality that it is over with an unrepentant Cheater.
You are most vulnerable in the stage of “reading the tea leaves.”
Your Cheater can use your investment in the marriage to extract more value from you. They have something you want–your marriage continuing–so, they have power over you.
Do you really want to remain at the mercy of a contempt-filled abuser?
That is what Cheaters are–namely, contempt-filled abusers. They abuse trust, finances, and emotions through gas-lighting at epic levels.
It is best to face the cold hard truth. Your marriage is over. Cheaters who are truly repentant do not need subtle tea leaf readings. It is obvious.
So, that means you have nothing to work with here. Your Cheater is unrepentant.
