While it is important that the cheating stops, the damage has already been done.

Stopping is not the same as repairing.

I think this needs to be said. The temptation exists to ignore the damage caused by the cheating as long as “it is over.”

Why?

The aftermath is not pleasant. It leads to uncomfortable conversations.

It is much easier to share blame across the relationship than to actually hold the cheater responsible for the damage they did unilaterally by lying and cheating. 

Many pastors and counselors do not seem particularly interested in pushing the cheater to face the damage of their sins. 

Stopping the cheating does not alter an awkward truth for this crowd of “helpers”–namely:

They are dealing with a couple with one abuser and the other as the victim of that cheating-abuse.

The victim might never know the real truth as to what happened in his or her marriage. They may never know how many times their partner cheated or where the lies end. That is the particular hell of having a (ex?) partner who sinned in these ways.

Personally, I think the lies and damage they do in figuring out what is real is most significant damage done by cheaters to their partners.

Yes, stopping the illicit sex is important. But it is not enough. That does nothing to address the damage already done.