Their mother is a shameless prostitute
and became pregnant in a shameful way.
She said, ‘I’ll run after other lovers
and sell myself to them for food and water,
for clothing of wool and linen,
and for olive oil and drinks.’-Hosea 2:5, NLT
What if those Christian leaders or therapists had provided strong medicine for my (now) ex-wife when she freely admitted to emotional infidelity?
I will never know precisely when the cheating began. But I do remember several counselors and Christian leaders being told by her of her emotional cheating.
Not only did they NOT take her to task for such sin, they aided in her attack of me!
I wonder what would have happened if I had had a courageous Christian leader or therapist instead of who I got. Would things have turned out differently if they had dispensed strong medicine to her upon her admission of emotional cheating?
Obviously, I will know the answer to that question.
And that is fine. I am EXTREMELY happy with the new life and family God gave me!
Bear with me, as I present a thought experiment:
What might strong medicine look like in a situation where a wife admits to an emotional affair?
Cheater: Yeah, I cheated on him emotionally. But it was a cry for help because he…
Christian Leader: I am going to stop you there. You just admitted to wronging your husband. Who cheated?
Cheater: I did, but…
Christian Leader: I am going to stop you there. No”but.” That just negates what you said before it. You cheated. That means you sinned against your husband.
Cheater: I only did it to get his attention.
Christian Leader: That’s bovine scatology. If your husband was sitting with me because he beat you, I wouldn’t accept that excuse from him–he only hit you to get your attention. I won’t accept it from you either. Cheating is abuse. You don’t get a pass for abusing your husband.
Cheater: Cheating is a symptom of marriage problems. I came here to focus on them.
Christian Leader: Well, I guess we have different faith perspectives. My Bible clearly states infidelity is sin, and sin comes out of the heart of a sinner. It isn’t a symptom of marriage problems. Sin is prideful defiance of God by the sinner.
Whether or not your marriage survives your sinful defiance of God is not my primary concern. My concern is to encourage you to repent of your sin so that your soul isn’t lost. To be clear: You can’t even begin to repent as long as you are blaming your marriage or husband for your sin.
Most likely, Cheaters would walk out of the office of a Christian Leader who was this direct. And it takes a lot of courage to be that direct. Yet I believe, it is the most loving thing that they could do for the Cheater. Maybe some Cheaters would stay and listen?
