Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant.
Malachi 2:14, NKJV
One of the many awful ideas spouted in my first marriage’s demise was the suggestion it was a “starter marriage.”
For those unfamiliar with the term, it denotes a short-lived first marriage usually in one’s 20s (article explaining it more here). It is an idea borrowing from our concept of “starter homes.”I think this a demonic attack on the institution of marriage, personally.
It sickens me. What doubly sickens me about this concept is how Christians sometime talk about it as a valid way to think about marriage! Such is utterly pagan thinking, in my opinion. It is wicked.Would we accept advice to a mourning parent that says to consider their young child’s death, the death of a “starter child?”
I hope not.
Marriage ought to be a precious, lifelong relationship. Something has gone horribly wrong for the relationship to have died. Someone killed it.
Calling a marriage, a “starter marriage” is utterly repulsive to me. It is as if that first marriage was an inferior, cheaper “product” compared to a subsequent marriage…as if marriages are products as opposed to an enduring, sacred institution. The reason why a marriage ending in divorce hurts so much for the well-adjusted adult is this adult cares about this relationship. This is healthy, by the way. With divorce, the marriage is now dead. Adultery circumstances make it a rather traumatic death on top of that.