18 “Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?-Isaiah 43:18-19a, NIV
What do we do with the good things that we gained through our marriage to our Cheater?!
It feels like tainted fruit, honestly. Such gifts are true gifts, yet it is harder to embrace them coming from such a suspect source. This is the work of grief.
For some of us, we married young and grew up with our Cheater. They may have helped us develop into the positive person that we are today. I know this was the case in part for me.
Now, over a decade removed from my divorce from my Cheater, I can embrace those gifts and be grateful for what good did come from my first marriage.
I do not regret for a moment not being married to my ex-wife anymore. It was a mercy to get away from someone who was so cruel at the end. And I can be grateful for what I learned through her, too.
Such is the ambiguous nature of grief. We are complex beings and so were our Cheaters. They may have blessed us in some ways while also causing the incredible harm that they did. Both can be true, and often is.
