21 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
22 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.
-Luke 15:21-22, NIV
Lately, I have been thinking more deeply about the topic of forgiveness.
I believe a tension exists in the topic of forgiveness between mercy and justice. A godly understanding does not resolve this tension by swinging too far to either side.
Godly forgiveness requires repentance.
Even in the famous “Parable of the Prodigal Son” found in Luke 15, the younger son admits what he has done is wrong and comes home. In a sense, the Father had already forgiven him while he was still living a wild life. However, that forgiveness matter not until the younger son repented as evidenced by him coming home.
Is it forgiveness, if the offender never experiences forgiveness?
In a sense, we can forgive like the Father. We give up our claim to punish our Cheater. It is no longer our job to see justice done. We choose mercy as God does for us. The gift sits ready for a Cheater like the Father sitting at home.
However, God is just. He still requires repentance for the gift of forgiveness to be received by the sinner.
This second piece of the forgiveness puzzle is often ignored or skipped over by Christians. They want to teach forgiveness as purely unilateral. It isn’t.
The forgiveness of the younger son by the Father did not benefit the younger son until he repented as evidenced by him coming home. So, in some sense, even the Father could not see the completion of forgiveness until repentance was evidenced by his younger son.
Forgiveness is about a just debt between two people–minimally. It is ALWAYS relational. So, it makes no sense that this debt can be settled by one side alone with no interaction by the second party.
Many of our Cheaters will never repent.
They will play the victim until the day that they die. Acknowledgement of their abuse of us will likely never happen. Without at least that, I do not see how anyone can meaningfully say that they have repented.
Where does that leave us?
We forgive like God forgives those who are running from Him. The gift is made available for whenever the Cheater decides to repent. And we leave it up to God to handle the debt as we cannot be their punisher.
