The “Deadwood Friends”

But Jesus said, “Judas, would you betray the Son of Man with a kiss?”

-Luke 22:48, NLT

Some “friends” will “kiss” you with words-bespeaking of their love for you-while they further the cheater’s agenda of blame-shifting the infidelity and marriage’s demise upon you.

It is confusing enough dealing with the lies and deceptions of a cheater. Adding to the confusion are these mixed messages “friends” send the faithful spouse during this difficult time.

Some might approach the faithful spouse with “tough love” while conspicuously being cowards as it comes to “tough love” with the cheater.

These sort are the “Deadwood Friends.”

They are best left alone. What I mean by that is the relationship is no longer life-giving, and the bridge to their friendship is best burnt or left to go out of repair from neglect.

Cutting them out is a mental health measure.

If they are furthering the cheater’s abusive narrative or trying to manipulate you, then THEY are a problem in themselves.

I put in this category the “friends” seeking to be neutral. No true friend of mine is neutral over the rape of my soul. 

If one “friend” beat up another “friend” for fun and with no remorse, trust me, “neutral” is NOT how I would view the aggressor.

Cheaters abuse their faithful partners for their own enjoyment. They rape their souls as adultery is soul rape. And many exhibit zero remorse even when caught.

A person who is neutral about such behavior is not a friend. They are part of the problem as such a response enables the wickedness of adultery to flourish unchecked.

No “Deadwood Friends” for me!

*A version of this post ran previously.