“It wasn’t really cheating. Come on! We both know we weren’t close for years.”

-Cheater

A cheater might draw a distinction in their mind.

This distinction allows them to believe their own lie about the infidelity. It helps them to minimize what they did. They are unique because of this distinction.

-Maybe your cheater moved out and claimed the cheating wasn’t cheating because of this (even though they continued attending marriage counseling)?

-Maybe your cheater thought the marriage was “already over” (without filing for divorce or otherwise informing you, of course)?

-Maybe your cheater claimed it wasn’t cheating because it was “only” heavy petting and lap dances?

You get the picture. The cheater draws a distinction and then goes on to believe that distinction means they are not engaging in infidelity. It is a lie, of course.

Yet, the danger of this lie is that the cheater usually genuinely believes it. Beware of such a cheater, they are going to be better at lying because they believe them.

Just because your cheater drew a distinction does NOT mean you have to agree with how they use that distinction.

You do not have to agree with their alternate reality. Stick to real, reality.

Cheating is cheating. God gives no exceptions to His commandment to not commit adultery (see Exodus 20:14). It is that simple.