Yet my friends laugh at me, for I call on God and expect an answer. I am a just and blameless man, yet they laugh at me.
-Job 12:4, NLT
Years removed, it is still difficult to think of old “friends” and accept the friendship is over for good.
These could have been relationships developed over years only to be exposed for straw structures when the fire of infidelity was lit by the cheater.
The loss of these relationships is hard. They are not simply losses but also betrayals. A nasty sort of ending where the “friend” chose the cheater over you and godliness.
But if you are like me…
You wish the bridges could be mended, yet you also know some bridges are best left burnt.
This is part of grieving a marriage ended via adultery. To heal from the abuse–I believe all adultery involves abuse–you may have to avoid people who are more than happy to enable the abuser and/or the abuse.
It is a sad fact of life.
Letting go of those relationships is part of the reality of letting go of the cheater. They go hand and hand.
That does not make it easier but it does make it clearer.
To heal, we sometimes have to accept that some people need to be removed from our friendship circle because they do not behave like friends towards us.
*A version of this post ran previously.
