It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret.
-Ephesians 5:12, NLT
Sometimes not knowing everything is a mercy from God.
I am convinced this is true in my case.
The conversation I will never forget is the one I had with my (now) ex-wife finally admitting to an adulterous relationship with the Other Man (OM) after months of denial.
As I remember it, she mentioned doing sexual things with other men from bars in that conversation. I had to specifically ask about OM to be sure he was included in that group 0f extramarital sexual partners. He was.
God has spared me much suffering by keeping hidden the rest of the details that come with that nasty revelation. I am convinced.
As I see it today–my opinion informed by what I remember of that conversation and other memories–I merely saw the tip of the cheating iceberg.
Then God mercifully set me free from that destructive marriage with the knowledge the problems created by my (now) ex-wife were deep and many, even if I did not know them all.
Do I sometimes wonder about those details? Of course.
But I am at peace knowing that I know enough to know the shame of my first marriage’s end is not a burden I deserve to bear.
God revealed enough for me to have peace moving forward.
And God hid the rest to protect my heart from needless additional pain. I thank God for that gift today!
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*A version of this post ran previously.
Like you, the revelations of what my former wife did in public, even in front of our older son, was practically unbelievable and most difficult to accept. I went down the path of having to discover and know the true depth of her depravity until I finally reached a point where enough was enough. I came to a place of acceptance in realizing there was no way to recover the marriage. God in His Grace has spared me the detailed knowledge of every act of adultery she committed against me, but enough evidence came to light that lesser acts of infidelity went all the way back to the beginning of our 21 year marriage. I am now at peace that seeking a proper end to our marriage through our church was the correct choice for me and my children.