When people discuss narcissists, they sometimes use the phrase ‘flying monkeys.’ Flying monkeys refer to people who carry out the work of a narcissist or an abusive person, and it comes from The Wizard of Oz, in which the Wicked Witch of the West puts flying monkeys under her spell.
-Taken from “What the Term ‘Flying Monkeys’ Means When We Talk About Narcissism” by Adam England, published July 14, 2023 in verywellmind
Did you have to deal with “flying monkeys” in your situation?
I want to point out that your Cheater did not have to be a Narcissist to employ these sort of people. They just had to be an abuser, which every Cheater is.
“Flying Monkeys” could be former friends or even family that your Cheater successfully recruited to do their biding. This might include all sort of character attacks or slander. Honestly, I think the damage these individuals do is potentially worse than what Cheaters do directly.
Psychology is just starting to catch up to biblical truths. Namely, they recognize in this concept of “Flying Monkeys” the corporate nature of such sin–i.e. it effects a whole community (see Deut 22:22).
It is painful dealing with “Flying Monkeys” in part, because they are betraying our trust adding to all the betrayals done by our Cheater. Their actions wouldn’t matter if we hadn’t first trusted them and allowed them access to our hearts. This is another source of loss when it comes to marital infidelity.
Part of healing from infidelity, sadly, is separating ourselves from such abusive individuals. We cannot heal as long as these individuals are attacking us as proxies for our Cheater. That is why we need distance from them, too.
