Thou shalt not commit adultery.

-Exodus 20:14, KJV

The way many pastors preach about divorce you would be forgiven if you thought this verse from the Ten Commandments read:

“Thou shalt not divorce!”

This is a problem.

It means we have a poor theology of marriage and divorce in our churches. Victims of adultery are shamed for divorcing their abusers. This is unjust and cruel.

I think much of our church problems are failures in pastoral care. Victims and perpetrators are treated the same or worse–i.e. the victim is treated as the offender.

Thankfully, God understands that the adultery, lies, and idolatry of the cheater is the real problem in such marriages–not the resulting divorce. He is pretty clear in the Ten Commandments which is and which is not sin.