She hides and waits like a robber,
eager to make more men unfaithful.-Proverbs 23:28, NLT
For those inclined to believe a cheater is a victim of his or her circumstances, it is worth noting the effort necessary to cover up the infidelity.
In fact, I think the aftermath of the cheating is actually the most damaging part of the adultery.
The cheater spends considerable effort to keep the faithful spouse in the dark. This is premeditated deception. Some do this for years!
If the cheating was “only” a one night stand, why all the deception?
If the cheating was “no big deal,” why lie for so long about it?
If the cheating was really just “a cry for help,” why keep that cry hidden through deception?
You see, the cheater knows what they did was very wrong. This is why they keep it hidden. Guilt has a way of motivating such behavior. Plus, they might want to continue cheating. The faithful spouse knowing would put a damper on that plan.
Lies about infidelity look foolish when exposed to the light of truth. The cheater did not have to launch a campaign of lies and deception. That took effort. They own that.
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*A version of this post ran previously.
