Unspoken.

Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.

-Romans 12:15, KJV

When divorce is condemned as a whole from the pulpit, this means all divorce is condemned.

Left unspoken is the acknowledgement of those who find themselves divorced against their will and those divorced because they married an abusive, adulterous spouse.

Because those groups are not acknowledged and the important biblical caveat on divorce is left unspoken, they are condemned, too. 

This is wrong.

I would even go as far as to characterize it as sinful. Such teaching sins against faithful spouses and their families by unjustly condemning them.

The church needs to do better. I do not think we solve this by stopping all talk about divorce or even stopping the talk about the tremendous fall out of divorce.

Cautionary talk of divorce from the pulpit needs to be tempered by seeing the messy reality that some divorcees are the innocent party as far as divorce-able sin is concern (see Jeremiah 3:8, Matthew 1:19, 19:9, etc.).

The last thing an abandoned faithful spouse needs is a church community that heaps condemnation upon her for a situation outside her control. That is a recipe for driving people out of the sheep fold. It is not the behavior of good shepherds.

Pastors, we need to acknowledge and speak up for the distinction that not all divorces are the same in the eyes of God.